STUDIO
IN THIS DIGITAL STUDIO SPACE YOU
CAN READ MY PROCESS FROM THE
LOCKDOWN IN MARCH 2020 TO THE
GRADUATION IN JUNE.
(READ FROM BOTTOM TO TOP)
INGRID ADRIAANS
FOURTH YEAR STUDENT
BACHELOR FINE ARTS
ROYAL ACADEMY OF ART
THE HAGUE
June 15th 2020
SUMMARY
With the lockdown and the closing of the school in March I lost a great deal of the conditions which I need to make my art. As a performer I lost the life audience, the space and specially the public space I prefer to work in.
I decided to start a personal journey to the roots of my art. What are my fascinations and what’s the best way to express that with my art? During these four years at school I did a lot of things. I wanted to use the fascilities of the academy as much as possible and to explore as many disciplnes as I could. The last three semesters I mainly focused on performance art. I paticipated in two interational performance art residencies, one in The Hague and one in Venice.
I had two fascinations I wanted to work with: the world between fantasy and fiction (between the real and the unreal) and the daily routine. Two at first sight contradictionary things.
I decided to do a series of performances into the direct surroundings of my studio space in Dordrecht. I went out with a transaparent fish mask on and performed simple actions that were related to the daily routine. I willingly choose for clear actions and an obvious outfit. Because I didn’t wanted it to be vague: walking the dog, doing the laundry, fishing, reading a book. Nothing more and nothing less. I did all five performances several times during a period of three weeks . Every performance one time with documentation and all the others without, on my own.
To explore the identity of the fish I started to make photographes in my studio in different outfits. During this process of outside performing and inside photographing the photography gradually became a reflection on the feelings which I had during the performances outside. You can read all the thoughts I had and the side paths I took during this process in my logbook.
Performing outside on my own in this unusual outfit had a great emotional impact on me. You see constantly people watching you and you hear them thinking: “what is that crazy woman doing there?”. Being outside on my own or with my son or husband filming was totally different. During the performances on my own I felt an outcast and very vulnerable. Gradually I tried to express that vulnerability into the pictures I made in the studio. That was an emotional process for me. To go deep into your own being and challenge yourself to do things which are uncomfortable to you is something I learned during the performance art residencies I did. This determines the artist who I am now.
A few weeks before the assessment something strange happened. I started drawing. I needed a more direct way to express myself. Just a pencil and paper, no computers, camera’s, editing programs, videotalks etc etc. Just a very analog thing. Something remarkeble happened. Everything seemed to come together in these drawings: the lonelyness, the in-between world, the ordinary, the vulneralbility and something I always wanted to use in my art, my experiences in the elderly care.
SUMMARY
With the lockdown and the closing of the school in March I lost a great deal of the conditions which I need to make my art. As a performer I lost the life audience, the space and specially the public space I prefer to work in.
I decided to start a personal journey to the roots of my art. What are my fascinations and what’s the best way to express that with my art? During these four years at school I did a lot of things. I wanted to use the fascilities of the academy as much as possible and to explore as many disciplnes as I could. The last three semesters I mainly focused on performance art. I paticipated in two interational performance art residencies, one in The Hague and one in Venice.
I had two fascinations I wanted to work with: the world between fantasy and fiction (between the real and the unreal) and the daily routine. Two at first sight contradictionary things.
I decided to do a series of performances into the direct surroundings of my studio space in Dordrecht. I went out with a transaparent fish mask on and performed simple actions that were related to the daily routine. I willingly choose for clear actions and an obvious outfit. Because I didn’t wanted it to be vague: walking the dog, doing the laundry, fishing, reading a book. Nothing more and nothing less. I did all five performances several times during a period of three weeks . Every performance one time with documentation and all the others without, on my own.
To explore the identity of the fish I started to make photographes in my studio in different outfits. During this process of outside performing and inside photographing the photography gradually became a reflection on the feelings which I had during the performances outside. You can read all the thoughts I had and the side paths I took during this process in my logbook.
Performing outside on my own in this unusual outfit had a great emotional impact on me. You see constantly people watching you and you hear them thinking: “what is that crazy woman doing there?”. Being outside on my own or with my son or husband filming was totally different. During the performances on my own I felt an outcast and very vulnerable. Gradually I tried to express that vulnerability into the pictures I made in the studio. That was an emotional process for me. To go deep into your own being and challenge yourself to do things which are uncomfortable to you is something I learned during the performance art residencies I did. This determines the artist who I am now.
A few weeks before the assessment something strange happened. I started drawing. I needed a more direct way to express myself. Just a pencil and paper, no computers, camera’s, editing programs, videotalks etc etc. Just a very analog thing. Something remarkeble happened. Everything seemed to come together in these drawings: the lonelyness, the in-between world, the ordinary, the vulneralbility and something I always wanted to use in my art, my experiences in the elderly care.
June 15th 2020
THE MAKE-BELIEVE WORLD OF DAILY LIFE
After three months of working on this project the final assessment for the grauduation is coming closer. I started this project not with the intention of a final presentation in june. I see this process as a personal search and reseach to my own roots. Where is my art about and how do I want to express that? The texts are thoughts and reflections from that specific moment and serve for discussion and further research. I did not change these texts during the process.
One week ago I had a final talk with the teachers on microsoft teams. I did not feel that anyone had onderstood what I did. I felt a lot of distrust. Which is dissapointing ofcourse one week before the graduation.
My work is about lonelyness, being yourself, pretending to be, the relation with the make-believe-world in our daily life environmont (the world of tatemae) and my fascination for the ‘uninteresting’.
THE MAKE-BELIEVE WORLD OF DAILY LIFE
After three months of working on this project the final assessment for the grauduation is coming closer. I started this project not with the intention of a final presentation in june. I see this process as a personal search and reseach to my own roots. Where is my art about and how do I want to express that? The texts are thoughts and reflections from that specific moment and serve for discussion and further research. I did not change these texts during the process.
One week ago I had a final talk with the teachers on microsoft teams. I did not feel that anyone had onderstood what I did. I felt a lot of distrust. Which is dissapointing ofcourse one week before the graduation.
My work is about lonelyness, being yourself, pretending to be, the relation with the make-believe-world in our daily life environmont (the world of tatemae) and my fascination for the ‘uninteresting’.
June 7th 2020
THE UNKNOWN
Suddenly the connection between these texts I selected from the book of Elly Strik and my work becomes more clear. (Also see May 12th 2020).
- The image is the reality of the invisible world. - One of the greatest virtues to which an artist can aspire is that of knowing how to wait the right amount of time for the image.
- The challenge is the not knowing.
- If I touch something of the essentiality of what it means to be human, than I’m satisfied.
Suddenly the connection between these texts I selected from the book of Elly Strik and my work becomes more clear. (Also see May 12th 2020).
- The image is the reality of the invisible world. - One of the greatest virtues to which an artist can aspire is that of knowing how to wait the right amount of time for the image.
- The challenge is the not knowing.
- If I touch something of the essentiality of what it means to be human, than I’m satisfied.
June 7th 2020
THE IMPERFECTION
In 1994 we spent 7 months in Japan. In Oita a city on the southern Island Kyushu our friend MeiSan who is a museum curator gave us a tour in the local museum. Looking at the old paintings and ceramics my husband asked her why everything looked “or something went wrong?” I can’t remember her answer but if I look at art I often have to think of that remark of my husband. You need failures to keep your process going.
Yesterday I wanted to make a print and accidentally printed it on the back of the print paper. The image that was created gives me the in-between feeling where I have been searching for during the last three months.... You don’t know or it’s a painting or a picture or something else. It’s me and it’s not, it’s an animal, but it’s also a human. It’s the ultimate in-between being. It also gives me the feeling of a nostalgic memory about which I wrote the day before yesterday.
The picture also reminds me of Pierre Huyghe who said that he wants to blur the certainty with his work. This picture (of the print of a picture) really blurs my certainty. (As far as I can speak of any certainty.) It shows my uncertainty. That’s probably why I’m touched by it.
(One of my favourite arts books I can recommend is the booklet of Erik Kessels: “FAILED IT! How to turn a mistake into ideas and other advice for succesfully screwing up”.)
Yesterday I wanted to make a print and accidentally printed it on the back of the print paper. The image that was created gives me the in-between feeling where I have been searching for during the last three months.... You don’t know or it’s a painting or a picture or something else. It’s me and it’s not, it’s an animal, but it’s also a human. It’s the ultimate in-between being. It also gives me the feeling of a nostalgic memory about which I wrote the day before yesterday.
The picture also reminds me of Pierre Huyghe who said that he wants to blur the certainty with his work. This picture (of the print of a picture) really blurs my certainty. (As far as I can speak of any certainty.) It shows my uncertainty. That’s probably why I’m touched by it.
(One of my favourite arts books I can recommend is the booklet of Erik Kessels: “FAILED IT! How to turn a mistake into ideas and other advice for succesfully screwing up”.)
June 5th 2020
A BYGONE MEMORY
After all the digital work and on line communication I felt a great need to do something analog. I wrote down a few words that came to me intuitively thinking about the presentation of this project on the Graduation Show in September. Afterwards I made a few drawings. Since the project is about habitat I’m thinking of a presentation with a combination of video, photography and performance in a homely atmosphere. If I see these drawings I realize that the Academy feels like a bygone memory to me.
A BYGONE MEMORY
After all the digital work and on line communication I felt a great need to do something analog. I wrote down a few words that came to me intuitively thinking about the presentation of this project on the Graduation Show in September. Afterwards I made a few drawings. Since the project is about habitat I’m thinking of a presentation with a combination of video, photography and performance in a homely atmosphere. If I see these drawings I realize that the Academy feels like a bygone memory to me.
June 4th 2020
HABITAT
The past week I mainly spent behind the computer to process all my video documentation material. I finally came to five video’s which you can find below. These are documentations of live performances. I choose for life performances in the public space without informing the viewers in advance.
I have decided to call the overall project Habitat. The English dictionary gives four definitions:
1. The place or environment where a plant or animal naturally or normally lives and grow.
2. The typical place of residence of a person or a group.
3. The place where something is commonly found.
4. A housing for a controlled physical environment in which people can live under surrounding inhospitable conditions (as under the sea).
The last one very much intrigues me. Specially the addition “as under the sea”. People who live in inhospitable conditions under the sea, who are they?
If I see these definitions I think they represent my thoughts over the last three months and leave enough questions unanswered to continue.
HABITAT
The past week I mainly spent behind the computer to process all my video documentation material. I finally came to five video’s which you can find below. These are documentations of live performances. I choose for life performances in the public space without informing the viewers in advance.
I have decided to call the overall project Habitat. The English dictionary gives four definitions:
1. The place or environment where a plant or animal naturally or normally lives and grow.
2. The typical place of residence of a person or a group.
3. The place where something is commonly found.
4. A housing for a controlled physical environment in which people can live under surrounding inhospitable conditions (as under the sea).
The last one very much intrigues me. Specially the addition “as under the sea”. People who live in inhospitable conditions under the sea, who are they?
If I see these definitions I think they represent my thoughts over the last three months and leave enough questions unanswered to continue.
June 1th 2020
Stills from the video documentation of my performance Walking the Dog. (Camera Coen Balkestein)
June 1th 2020
Stills from the video documentation of my performance Fishing (on the shore). (Camera Coen Balkestein)
June 1th 2020
TATEMAE
In the nineties I was in Japan for 7 months. My fascination for the Japanese language and culture started then. This evening I saw a episode of the TV series Tokidoki with the Dutch comedian and writer Pauline Cornelisse. It was about the Japanese phenomenon Tatemae. It means something like: you pretend to be different from what you are. You don’t want to stand out but merge into the crowd. Nowhere is the difference between being yourself and pretending so big as in Japan. Tate means something you build, and mae means in front of. So Tatemae is something you built in front of yourself. Like a mask. There are two worlds: the real world (Honne, where you’re in so now and then) and the make-believe world, the world of the Tatemae. Related to this is the fact that in Japan people keep the option open if monsters and ghosts exist. As I wrote in my thesis. “What has always intrigued me is the ease with which it seems to me that people in Japan can switch from what we, with these Western-inflected eyes, may call reality towards another type of world, which we might call the realm of fantasy, spirituality, dreams or memory. Theirs seems to be a reality in which one can naturally flow from one mode into another via in-betweenness without being consciously aware of the move.” My mask (my Tatemae) brings me into that in-between world. But who am I? There is a inside me and an outside me. An inside world, the real world and an outside world, the world in which you pretend to be someone. The world of the Tatemae.
In the nineties I was in Japan for 7 months. My fascination for the Japanese language and culture started then. This evening I saw a episode of the TV series Tokidoki with the Dutch comedian and writer Pauline Cornelisse. It was about the Japanese phenomenon Tatemae. It means something like: you pretend to be different from what you are. You don’t want to stand out but merge into the crowd. Nowhere is the difference between being yourself and pretending so big as in Japan. Tate means something you build, and mae means in front of. So Tatemae is something you built in front of yourself. Like a mask. There are two worlds: the real world (Honne, where you’re in so now and then) and the make-believe world, the world of the Tatemae. Related to this is the fact that in Japan people keep the option open if monsters and ghosts exist. As I wrote in my thesis. “What has always intrigued me is the ease with which it seems to me that people in Japan can switch from what we, with these Western-inflected eyes, may call reality towards another type of world, which we might call the realm of fantasy, spirituality, dreams or memory. Theirs seems to be a reality in which one can naturally flow from one mode into another via in-betweenness without being consciously aware of the move.” My mask (my Tatemae) brings me into that in-between world. But who am I? There is a inside me and an outside me. An inside world, the real world and an outside world, the world in which you pretend to be someone. The world of the Tatemae.
May 27th 2020
FISHING (ON THE WATER)
Below some stills from the video documentation of my performance Fishing on the Water (with my small inflatable). Friday the 22th of May 2020. (Camera Marcel Balkestein)
FISHING (ON THE WATER)
Below some stills from the video documentation of my performance Fishing on the Water (with my small inflatable). Friday the 22th of May 2020. (Camera Marcel Balkestein)
May 26th 2020
“IS THIS REAL OR NOT?” (Is dit nou echt of niet?)
This morning I had a nice talk with Pim on Microsoft Teams. He asked me what I would do if people start talking to me during a performance. Ofcourse I thought about this. Am I going to explain what I am doing there and why? As an artist. Or do I stay in my role as a fish. Or something in between? The last seems the most natural to me. Most of the people will associate my work with steet theather, the difference between my work and street theather I think is the context in which it takes place. The unexpected moment and unusual place, like a supermarket or an ongoing area where peolple are walking through doing their daily acivities. During the Walking the Dog performance I left the dog outside the Albert Hein (supermarket) and went inside. I stayed for a while in the area where the shopping carts are located. A lady who was passing by made the comment: “Is this real or not ?” (Is dit nou echt of niet?). I really felt exited about that remark. That was just what I wanted to achieve, something between reality and fiction in a daily life environment.
Pim also asked what I do want to give to the viewer. I explained earlier that I want to create a free space for imagination, a space for a moment of wonder that contributes to the story of the viewer. Becomes part of their story, their history.
During my performances in my bioptope as a fish I feel the presence of the viewers very strongly, I saw people around me taking pictures or making video’s. I saw them looking backwards after passing me. The Walking the Dog video gives a good view of that reactions I think.
Beside the fact that I want to make a (small) contribution to the story of the viewer, my performances are also an individual expression which I do without bothering the reactions of the viewer. I perform with both perspectives in my mind. In between those two is a large area in which I search for the right form. This is an (exiting) ongoing learning process. I look very much forward to explore this further.
“IS THIS REAL OR NOT?” (Is dit nou echt of niet?)
This morning I had a nice talk with Pim on Microsoft Teams. He asked me what I would do if people start talking to me during a performance. Ofcourse I thought about this. Am I going to explain what I am doing there and why? As an artist. Or do I stay in my role as a fish. Or something in between? The last seems the most natural to me. Most of the people will associate my work with steet theather, the difference between my work and street theather I think is the context in which it takes place. The unexpected moment and unusual place, like a supermarket or an ongoing area where peolple are walking through doing their daily acivities. During the Walking the Dog performance I left the dog outside the Albert Hein (supermarket) and went inside. I stayed for a while in the area where the shopping carts are located. A lady who was passing by made the comment: “Is this real or not ?” (Is dit nou echt of niet?). I really felt exited about that remark. That was just what I wanted to achieve, something between reality and fiction in a daily life environment.
Pim also asked what I do want to give to the viewer. I explained earlier that I want to create a free space for imagination, a space for a moment of wonder that contributes to the story of the viewer. Becomes part of their story, their history.
During my performances in my bioptope as a fish I feel the presence of the viewers very strongly, I saw people around me taking pictures or making video’s. I saw them looking backwards after passing me. The Walking the Dog video gives a good view of that reactions I think.
Beside the fact that I want to make a (small) contribution to the story of the viewer, my performances are also an individual expression which I do without bothering the reactions of the viewer. I perform with both perspectives in my mind. In between those two is a large area in which I search for the right form. This is an (exiting) ongoing learning process. I look very much forward to explore this further.
May 26th 2020
EXPERT HELP
Last Sunday I had a wonderful day with my son Coen. Since he is working as a animation film producer he knows a lot about how to capture a moving image. Together with him I did two performances in my biotope. One with the dog and one just fishing from the shore. The weather was cloudy (which was good) and a littlebit rainy. During the walking the dog performance I performed and Coen was filming me the whole time by hand, so without tripot or he was a viewer following me. He didn know what I was going to do. That was great and really felt as a performence in the moment. I didn’t had to bother at all about the documentation. The second performance, me fishing from the shore was a more static action and he used the tripot and filmed from different perspectives. So not one long shot but several shots from different views. After this day I have a heap of material from 5 performances in one week. Now I have to edit all ...... The Walk the Dog video will not be edited but is a direct registration of the action itself from the perspective of one viewer.
EXPERT HELP
Last Sunday I had a wonderful day with my son Coen. Since he is working as a animation film producer he knows a lot about how to capture a moving image. Together with him I did two performances in my biotope. One with the dog and one just fishing from the shore. The weather was cloudy (which was good) and a littlebit rainy. During the walking the dog performance I performed and Coen was filming me the whole time by hand, so without tripot or he was a viewer following me. He didn know what I was going to do. That was great and really felt as a performence in the moment. I didn’t had to bother at all about the documentation. The second performance, me fishing from the shore was a more static action and he used the tripot and filmed from different perspectives. So not one long shot but several shots from different views. After this day I have a heap of material from 5 performances in one week. Now I have to edit all ...... The Walk the Dog video will not be edited but is a direct registration of the action itself from the perspective of one viewer.
May 22th 2020
DOCUMENTATION
I have a hate love relatioship with the documentation of my work.... Bothering about the documentation during a performance disturbs it. But on the other hand if I see the results the documentation is a work on itself and with that I can reach more people than during the life performance. I decided to do all the performances of this project a few times. During one I will have my son Coen or my partner Marcel to film and during the other ones I’m just performing alone without documentation. I perform as much as I can these days in the area to make myself feel at home there. Maybe I’ll make some simple drawings of the performances I do not documentate at all. I sometimes do small actions without any documentation.
Untill now I did four different actions: reading, fishing in my little inflatable, fishing on the shore and doing the laundry. Tomorrow I’m going to walk the dog. (At least if the wind is not to strong, because then the dog blows away.)
I start to think a littlebit about the presentation of this project on the graduationshow (if there will be one). I can present video’s, photography, I can perform life. Help....! So many decisions to make! Still have time till september so no worries yet. But I have the strong feeling that I want to present it as an ongoing process and not as a final work.
DOCUMENTATION
I have a hate love relatioship with the documentation of my work.... Bothering about the documentation during a performance disturbs it. But on the other hand if I see the results the documentation is a work on itself and with that I can reach more people than during the life performance. I decided to do all the performances of this project a few times. During one I will have my son Coen or my partner Marcel to film and during the other ones I’m just performing alone without documentation. I perform as much as I can these days in the area to make myself feel at home there. Maybe I’ll make some simple drawings of the performances I do not documentate at all. I sometimes do small actions without any documentation.
Untill now I did four different actions: reading, fishing in my little inflatable, fishing on the shore and doing the laundry. Tomorrow I’m going to walk the dog. (At least if the wind is not to strong, because then the dog blows away.)
I start to think a littlebit about the presentation of this project on the graduationshow (if there will be one). I can present video’s, photography, I can perform life. Help....! So many decisions to make! Still have time till september so no worries yet. But I have the strong feeling that I want to present it as an ongoing process and not as a final work.
May 22th 2020
REVALUATION
If I look at the development of my digital studio I have the feeling that it’s also about inside versus ouside, about the white cube versus the public space. An interesting thing in this Corona times in which we had to stay mainly inside and are gradually opening up again. Yesterday evening I listened to the Dutch radioshow Met het Oog op Morgen. The presenter Lucella Carasso had a talk with the philosopher Hans Schitzler. “We need a revaluation of the public space” he said. “We need a common space in which different perspectives must be given a place. That has come under increasing pressure. You see that now we have to focus more on our direct environment we get a new kind of appreciation of it. A place in which you discover new things so that you are going to appreciate it in a different way.”
I think that I want to achieve something simualr with my performative art. I want to achieve a revaluation of our environment. A very small one, but it doesn’t matter to me how big it is. In a time in which unusual things in the public space are increasingly seen as dangerous I want to show that the unusual can also be lovely. We need the unusual to make us more aware of the space we’re in. So we can give space to different perspectives and can discover new things.
REVALUATION
If I look at the development of my digital studio I have the feeling that it’s also about inside versus ouside, about the white cube versus the public space. An interesting thing in this Corona times in which we had to stay mainly inside and are gradually opening up again. Yesterday evening I listened to the Dutch radioshow Met het Oog op Morgen. The presenter Lucella Carasso had a talk with the philosopher Hans Schitzler. “We need a revaluation of the public space” he said. “We need a common space in which different perspectives must be given a place. That has come under increasing pressure. You see that now we have to focus more on our direct environment we get a new kind of appreciation of it. A place in which you discover new things so that you are going to appreciate it in a different way.”
I think that I want to achieve something simualr with my performative art. I want to achieve a revaluation of our environment. A very small one, but it doesn’t matter to me how big it is. In a time in which unusual things in the public space are increasingly seen as dangerous I want to show that the unusual can also be lovely. We need the unusual to make us more aware of the space we’re in. So we can give space to different perspectives and can discover new things.
May 21th 2020
DE BOOGJES
This afternoon I explored the area to prepare for the performance on Sunday. I focused a bit more on the other side of the spot ( de Boogjes). It’s very much a mix of old and more recent architecture. A transition area between old and new. I feel more and more at home. What always was a going through area for me becomes a place to stay in longer and a place to feel connected to. Is this not always the case. If you pay more attention to something and take your time you discover the beauty of it.
DE BOOGJES
This afternoon I explored the area to prepare for the performance on Sunday. I focused a bit more on the other side of the spot ( de Boogjes). It’s very much a mix of old and more recent architecture. A transition area between old and new. I feel more and more at home. What always was a going through area for me becomes a place to stay in longer and a place to feel connected to. Is this not always the case. If you pay more attention to something and take your time you discover the beauty of it.
May 21th 2020
BIODIVERSITY
Today I did some tryouts in my studio with the fish and the dog. Since my new biotope is going to be transformed in an ecological biodiverse waterpark, it seems approptiate to introduce more animals. And it really is a fishing and walking your dog area.
I think the bleu dress fits very well and I really like the suit. The dress is very fishy and the suit is more surreal. (It looks like a salaryman who is walking his dog). I have to think of a remark of Pim who said that there should be a visual logic in the image. That is more with the bleu dress than with the suit. I doubt a bit. Let’s see Sunday when I´m going to perform with fish and the dog. My son Coen is going to film. Oh yes and I changed the eyes of the fish a bit and made them a bit less obvious. Then the focus is more on the whole.
BIODIVERSITY
Today I did some tryouts in my studio with the fish and the dog. Since my new biotope is going to be transformed in an ecological biodiverse waterpark, it seems approptiate to introduce more animals. And it really is a fishing and walking your dog area.
I think the bleu dress fits very well and I really like the suit. The dress is very fishy and the suit is more surreal. (It looks like a salaryman who is walking his dog). I have to think of a remark of Pim who said that there should be a visual logic in the image. That is more with the bleu dress than with the suit. I doubt a bit. Let’s see Sunday when I´m going to perform with fish and the dog. My son Coen is going to film. Oh yes and I changed the eyes of the fish a bit and made them a bit less obvious. Then the focus is more on the whole.
May 20th 2020
LAUNDRY
Doing the laundry in my new habitat. Performance May 19th 2020. (Sills from a video documentation/camera Marcel Balkestein)
LAUNDRY
Doing the laundry in my new habitat. Performance May 19th 2020. (Sills from a video documentation/camera Marcel Balkestein)
May 20th 2020
I feel lost and disconnected.
I’m looking for a new habitat.
LAMPJE
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The last months I’m mostly reading children’s books. Now I’m reading the bestseller Lampje of the Dutch writer Annet Schaap. I didn’t know that in advance but it’s about a boy who is half fish, half human...... His name is Edward and he always stays inside and is reading the whole day.
I’m looking for a new habitat.
LAMPJE
DRAWING ANNET SCHAAP
The last months I’m mostly reading children’s books. Now I’m reading the bestseller Lampje of the Dutch writer Annet Schaap. I didn’t know that in advance but it’s about a boy who is half fish, half human...... His name is Edward and he always stays inside and is reading the whole day.
May 19th 2020
READING Below some stills of a video of my first performance in my new habitat ( the 17th of May 2020). I’m walking around and reading a book on the waterfront.
READING Below some stills of a video of my first performance in my new habitat ( the 17th of May 2020). I’m walking around and reading a book on the waterfront.
May 19th 2020
IDENTITY
This weekend I did some tryouts with my fishmask in my studio and suddenly it seems to be about identity again. Summer 2019 I did a performance-art workshop in The Hague about identity. In the final performance I performed with my friend Oozing Gloop. I wrote about this in my thesis. This picture reminds me of this performance since the fabric of the jacket is the same as the fabric of Oozies coat. In this performance we mixed up our identities and created a different world of our own with our own rules and our owm beauty.
This weekend I did some tryouts with my fishmask in my studio and suddenly it seems to be about identity again. Summer 2019 I did a performance-art workshop in The Hague about identity. In the final performance I performed with my friend Oozing Gloop. I wrote about this in my thesis. This picture reminds me of this performance since the fabric of the jacket is the same as the fabric of Oozies coat. In this performance we mixed up our identities and created a different world of our own with our own rules and our owm beauty.
HABITAT
The first semester of this schoolyear I had a talk with guestteacher Marijn Ottenhof. We talked about the topic identity and she thought that identity was actually more about habitat. Habitat is the geographical area where an organism lives. And that is also what my fish is doing, he or I think it’s a she, is trying to settle in her new habitat. That fish is a alterego of myself. I try to find my way in my new habitat. By doing small actions of daily life in the area I try to make a new home for my own self. After the lockdown I felt lost and disconnected. By performing in my new biotope I gradually become a resident of this area.
The first semester of this schoolyear I had a talk with guestteacher Marijn Ottenhof. We talked about the topic identity and she thought that identity was actually more about habitat. Habitat is the geographical area where an organism lives. And that is also what my fish is doing, he or I think it’s a she, is trying to settle in her new habitat. That fish is a alterego of myself. I try to find my way in my new habitat. By doing small actions of daily life in the area I try to make a new home for my own self. After the lockdown I felt lost and disconnected. By performing in my new biotope I gradually become a resident of this area.
And suddenly it seems to be about identity again............
May 12th 2020
THE VEIL OF LIFE
I’ve been reading a text about the work of Elly Strik. The relation between her work and mine is not completely clear to me, but I found some parts of the text which intrigued me.
- The image is the reality of the invisible world. - One of the greatest virtues to which an artist can aspire is that of knowing how to wait the right amount of time for the image.
- The challenge is the not knowing. In front of the face is the mask, beneath the skin is the skull.
- If I touch something of the essentiality of what it means to be human, than I’m satisfied. This reminds me of the statement of Marina Abromovic that art should reveal humanity. For myself I’m not sure or it’s always about humanity. I think my art should reveal subjectivity. For me my art is about subjects and not about objects. Although an object can also be a subject. Like the Japanese who believe that objects have a soul. It’s more about feelings and emotion.
- What is death comes alive, what is background comes to fore, what tends to be forgotten or hidden is revealed, the veil of life is pulled aside to reveal the truth of death.
THE VEIL OF LIFE
I’ve been reading a text about the work of Elly Strik. The relation between her work and mine is not completely clear to me, but I found some parts of the text which intrigued me.
- The image is the reality of the invisible world. - One of the greatest virtues to which an artist can aspire is that of knowing how to wait the right amount of time for the image.
- The challenge is the not knowing. In front of the face is the mask, beneath the skin is the skull.
- If I touch something of the essentiality of what it means to be human, than I’m satisfied. This reminds me of the statement of Marina Abromovic that art should reveal humanity. For myself I’m not sure or it’s always about humanity. I think my art should reveal subjectivity. For me my art is about subjects and not about objects. Although an object can also be a subject. Like the Japanese who believe that objects have a soul. It’s more about feelings and emotion.
- What is death comes alive, what is background comes to fore, what tends to be forgotten or hidden is revealed, the veil of life is pulled aside to reveal the truth of death.
May 9th 2020
THE EMANCIPATED SPECTATOR
In response to a talk with Pim last Teusday I’m reading the essay of the French philosopher Jacques Ranciere, The Emancipated Spectator. Very interesting in relation to my own view on this topic.
His conclusion is that the emancipated spectator is part of an emancipated community of storytelles and translaters. This reminds me of my first class at the academy. The teacher gave us the assignment to make a drawing of a picture (with charcoal) and to take the story out...... I remember to have a great resistance to the idea of taking the story out, beceause in my opinion it’s all about the story. Art contributes to the stories of the spectators. As an artist I facilitate that contribution by showing a part of my story. That part of my story becomes a part of the story of the viewers. And they recreate their own story, in a way their own artwork. So in the essence we are all equal, we are all telling our own stories or you are an artist or a viewer. And that’s maybe also the reason that I prefer to make art in the public space instead of in a gallary or in a museum. If people are going to a museum they will have a different approach to art and to the artist. In a museum the viewer has more expectations and assumptions and feel inservient to the artist. In the public space you’re all equal and that gives everyone equal opportunuties to make their own story. To make art in the public space is a contribution, an unexpected present, to the one who is accidentally watching. The spectator is the performer of his, own history.
THE EMANCIPATED SPECTATOR
In response to a talk with Pim last Teusday I’m reading the essay of the French philosopher Jacques Ranciere, The Emancipated Spectator. Very interesting in relation to my own view on this topic.
His conclusion is that the emancipated spectator is part of an emancipated community of storytelles and translaters. This reminds me of my first class at the academy. The teacher gave us the assignment to make a drawing of a picture (with charcoal) and to take the story out...... I remember to have a great resistance to the idea of taking the story out, beceause in my opinion it’s all about the story. Art contributes to the stories of the spectators. As an artist I facilitate that contribution by showing a part of my story. That part of my story becomes a part of the story of the viewers. And they recreate their own story, in a way their own artwork. So in the essence we are all equal, we are all telling our own stories or you are an artist or a viewer. And that’s maybe also the reason that I prefer to make art in the public space instead of in a gallary or in a museum. If people are going to a museum they will have a different approach to art and to the artist. In a museum the viewer has more expectations and assumptions and feel inservient to the artist. In the public space you’re all equal and that gives everyone equal opportunuties to make their own story. To make art in the public space is a contribution, an unexpected present, to the one who is accidentally watching. The spectator is the performer of his, own history.
May 7th 2020
MASK
MASK
Why is it so difficult to make something that’s not beautiful?
May 6th 2020
I NEED MORE AIR
After a few days of working (in my job in healthcare) I’m back in my studio, and that feels good. I had a sad day yesterday. I have days that I miss the academy, the real spaces , the building and the presence of people. Also the idea that there will be no room for togetherness in celebrating our graduation makes me feel lonely and sad. Some of the videomeetings feel like a torture to me because it reminds me of how it was. And I don’t want to look back, I only want to look forward. Jonas asked me yesterday or it isn’t better than nothing. I think nothing is sometimes better for me. But tonight I showed my ‘Fishing’ in my own garden video in the part time and that was nice and gave me courage again. I can’t help it but I feel a closer connection to the part-timers than to the fulltimers.
I decided to try to improve the mask for the fishing performance. This mask is too closed. It feels like I have a glasshouse on my head and I can’t perform for a longer time with this mask on my head. I have been thinking what kind of material I can use instead of the plastic. It has to be transparant. I should see the things that are happening around me and there should come air through. Since I want to perform for a longer period during a few weeks in this mask it should also be safe for me. Last weekend I got a wonderfull present of a (study)friend of mine, a book about the work of Elly Strik, she is a painter and also teacher at our school. I want to read more about her work but first two images below inspired me to use lace. And if I see the pictures of my mask in progress, I think it can work.
I NEED MORE AIR
After a few days of working (in my job in healthcare) I’m back in my studio, and that feels good. I had a sad day yesterday. I have days that I miss the academy, the real spaces , the building and the presence of people. Also the idea that there will be no room for togetherness in celebrating our graduation makes me feel lonely and sad. Some of the videomeetings feel like a torture to me because it reminds me of how it was. And I don’t want to look back, I only want to look forward. Jonas asked me yesterday or it isn’t better than nothing. I think nothing is sometimes better for me. But tonight I showed my ‘Fishing’ in my own garden video in the part time and that was nice and gave me courage again. I can’t help it but I feel a closer connection to the part-timers than to the fulltimers.
I decided to try to improve the mask for the fishing performance. This mask is too closed. It feels like I have a glasshouse on my head and I can’t perform for a longer time with this mask on my head. I have been thinking what kind of material I can use instead of the plastic. It has to be transparant. I should see the things that are happening around me and there should come air through. Since I want to perform for a longer period during a few weeks in this mask it should also be safe for me. Last weekend I got a wonderfull present of a (study)friend of mine, a book about the work of Elly Strik, she is a painter and also teacher at our school. I want to read more about her work but first two images below inspired me to use lace. And if I see the pictures of my mask in progress, I think it can work.
PAINTINGS ELLY STRIK
MY NEW MASK IN PROGRESS
April 29th 2020
PLANS
The performance with the dog on wheels is a bit difficult to film from my studio. The window mirrors too much and that disturbs the image and I can’t open the window. It’s also difficult to perform for longer time outside because the visibility is very poor from the mask. On the longer term I want to continue my research on the courtyards in Dordrecht. That can be an interesting topic for after the graduation. For now I decided to focus on the performance with the fish in the surroundings of my studio. I’m thinking about how to document it. How can I mobilize a public and at the same time adhere to the corona measures? Like I mentioned before I want to use the possibillity to seek the attention of the people living along the waterfront. They can see me from their houses.
April 29th 2020
A FREE ZONE
In my thesis I wrote about the in-between space. For me it’s a free, open space. Like Peter Blok’s empty space: a zone that isn't filled with preconceptions and expectations. A space that opens the possibilities for the imagination of the viewer. I have also found this in-between or empty space with other artists. I think my in-between space, the empty space of Peter Blok and Yoshi Oida, the charismatic space of Marina Abramovic and the emotional landscape of Pierre Huyghe are in the essence the same thing. Creating a free zone of imagination. It clears your mind, makes it more or less empty and makes room for an other reality. Like Huyghe says, a walk through a new reality.
A FREE ZONE
In my thesis I wrote about the in-between space. For me it’s a free, open space. Like Peter Blok’s empty space: a zone that isn't filled with preconceptions and expectations. A space that opens the possibilities for the imagination of the viewer. I have also found this in-between or empty space with other artists. I think my in-between space, the empty space of Peter Blok and Yoshi Oida, the charismatic space of Marina Abramovic and the emotional landscape of Pierre Huyghe are in the essence the same thing. Creating a free zone of imagination. It clears your mind, makes it more or less empty and makes room for an other reality. Like Huyghe says, a walk through a new reality.
April 28th 2020
BIODIVERSITY.......
Some stills of a try out with my small inflatable in my studio.
BIODIVERSITY.......
Some stills of a try out with my small inflatable in my studio.
April 28th 2020
MY SPACE TO PERFORM, A SPACE IN TRANSITION
This afternoon I made a photographic impression of the surroundings of my studio where I intend to do my performance. By performing several times over a longer period, I want to become part of this environment. To help this space on the way to become part of a new ecological waterpark with a great biodiversity.
MY SPACE TO PERFORM, A SPACE IN TRANSITION
This afternoon I made a photographic impression of the surroundings of my studio where I intend to do my performance. By performing several times over a longer period, I want to become part of this environment. To help this space on the way to become part of a new ecological waterpark with a great biodiversity.
April 26th 2020
FROM HERE TO THERE
I continue my research to in-between spaces in general and particular in the citycentre of Dordrecht. In his book about non-spaces the French anthtropologist Marc Auge makes a difference between the anthropological space an a non-space. An antropological space is a space where people can meet with people with whom they share social references. The space empowers their identidy. On the other hand you have the non-space. The non spaces are not meeting spaces. It’s a place where we don’t live in. The individual remains anonymous and lonely. Non-spaces are spaces that discourage to settle in. An empty meaningless environment through which we pass alone, like an airport or a shopping mall. The concept is subjective. You can call a shoppingmall a non-place. But if you work in one of the shops it can be a place that is part of your identity where you meet your collegues every day. The French sociologist Bruno Latour is talking about the luminal space. A place betwixt and between the here and there. Limes means threshold. Originally it’s a period between two phases of your life. Between the departure from an old situation to the arrival in a new one. For example from one job to another or from work to retirement. The period is largely determined by feelings of uncertainty. I think you can link the non-space from Auge to the luminal space of Latour. Both are spaces from here to there. In my performances I often work in a betwixt and between space. If I look at my process so far I found several spaces I can work in. Most of the courtyards I found seem to be anthropological spaces to me. I found a few non-places, like the Statenplein and the Spuiboulevard. For me as an artist the Spuiboulevard is a more interesting space. It’s pre-eminently a place in transition. It’s on the border of the old city centre. Along the boulevard are a lot of vacant office buildings. My studio is in one of that buildings. In 2018 the minicipality of Dordrecht launched a ambitious redesignplan. They want to transform this dull uninspiring non-place into an ecolgical green waterpark. See impression below.
FROM HERE TO THERE
I continue my research to in-between spaces in general and particular in the citycentre of Dordrecht. In his book about non-spaces the French anthtropologist Marc Auge makes a difference between the anthropological space an a non-space. An antropological space is a space where people can meet with people with whom they share social references. The space empowers their identidy. On the other hand you have the non-space. The non spaces are not meeting spaces. It’s a place where we don’t live in. The individual remains anonymous and lonely. Non-spaces are spaces that discourage to settle in. An empty meaningless environment through which we pass alone, like an airport or a shopping mall. The concept is subjective. You can call a shoppingmall a non-place. But if you work in one of the shops it can be a place that is part of your identity where you meet your collegues every day. The French sociologist Bruno Latour is talking about the luminal space. A place betwixt and between the here and there. Limes means threshold. Originally it’s a period between two phases of your life. Between the departure from an old situation to the arrival in a new one. For example from one job to another or from work to retirement. The period is largely determined by feelings of uncertainty. I think you can link the non-space from Auge to the luminal space of Latour. Both are spaces from here to there. In my performances I often work in a betwixt and between space. If I look at my process so far I found several spaces I can work in. Most of the courtyards I found seem to be anthropological spaces to me. I found a few non-places, like the Statenplein and the Spuiboulevard. For me as an artist the Spuiboulevard is a more interesting space. It’s pre-eminently a place in transition. It’s on the border of the old city centre. Along the boulevard are a lot of vacant office buildings. My studio is in one of that buildings. In 2018 the minicipality of Dordrecht launched a ambitious redesignplan. They want to transform this dull uninspiring non-place into an ecolgical green waterpark. See impression below.
You can see this whole corona crisis and the uncertainty that comes with it as a big liminal space. A transition period to a different perspective of our society. My idea is to do the fishing performance on and around the water in front of my studio. It will be an in-between being in a non-space ( de Spuiboulevard) in a luminar period (the coronacrisis). This reminds me of video work of Pierre Huyghe, Streamside. In this performative celebration in a small town north of New York Huyghe let the inhabitants play a kind of mythology in the form of a party to celebrate the encounter of humans with nature. The celebration consisted of a parade, food, kidsplaying and a concert. In his work Huyghe creates a world and his own walkthrough is the work. He is not interested in filming the reality, nor in creating fiction. He wants to create a myth, his own reality and documentates that. It’s not about the narrative but about creating a emotional landscape. He creates a zone of non-knowledge. He blurrs the certitude. And that blurring of certainty and creating uncertainty is someting I also want to achieve.
The idea for my performance in Dordrecht is to create an in-between world between fiction and reality. Also in my performances there is no narrative but a kind of walkthrought through my own world. By doing that I want to make the public more aware of the environment they’re in.
The idea for my performance in Dordrecht is to create an in-between world between fiction and reality. Also in my performances there is no narrative but a kind of walkthrought through my own world. By doing that I want to make the public more aware of the environment they’re in.
In this corona time a few activities are much more popular than before the lockdown: walking your dog and angling. The vets see many dogs with worn out feet these days. And yesterday I saw a reportage on the news that fishing rod stores have strongly increasing sales. How coincidental that these topics are both topics I’m working with in my most recent performances! I don’t have the intention to make art about the current crisis, but it seems difficult to avoid it.
April 22th 2020
PLANS
I have the need to clarify some things. In the coming weeks I can work on the following projects:
- To make a video with my dog on wheels. I can film that from my studio, people are walking their dogs in front of my studio. How can I become one of them? - I ordered a small inflatable boat to do my performance fishing. I want to do that several times at the same place. The water in front of my studio seems to be a suitable place to do that. It’s a non-place. People can see me from there houses. And it’s an ongoing place for cars, busses and bikers. I see this as a social experiment on distance. I want to become part of the environment. I don ‘t have to use my boat every time. I also can sit on the waterfront. - I want to do more research to the in between spaces in the city centre of Dordrecht. Can I devellop a small simple performance which I can do in all those places, as akind of connecting factor between those places.
- For the research I’m reading the book Non-places of Marc Auge. - I ordered the book STUDIO of Vito Hannibal Acconci.
PLANS
I have the need to clarify some things. In the coming weeks I can work on the following projects:
- To make a video with my dog on wheels. I can film that from my studio, people are walking their dogs in front of my studio. How can I become one of them? - I ordered a small inflatable boat to do my performance fishing. I want to do that several times at the same place. The water in front of my studio seems to be a suitable place to do that. It’s a non-place. People can see me from there houses. And it’s an ongoing place for cars, busses and bikers. I see this as a social experiment on distance. I want to become part of the environment. I don ‘t have to use my boat every time. I also can sit on the waterfront. - I want to do more research to the in between spaces in the city centre of Dordrecht. Can I devellop a small simple performance which I can do in all those places, as akind of connecting factor between those places.
- For the research I’m reading the book Non-places of Marc Auge. - I ordered the book STUDIO of Vito Hannibal Acconci.
April 21th 2020
WHERE IS MY WORK ABOUT?
After my chat with Dina this morning I want to ask myself the question: what is the red thread in my work? It’s good she pushes me to go back to the source. It seems that I have a preference for banal, boring daily activities (like walking the dog or fishing.......). Other keywords are: routine, lonelyness, overlooked........I want to show them in a different specific way. And why is that? Is that because I believe that life is a lonely path? You live together with others but in the the core we are all on ourselfes with our own concerns and problems. Finally you have to take the decisions yourself and you are responsible for your own life. Is it because as a child I always wanted to dive away? I was very shy and on myself. Maybe I want to overcome that by doing my performances and maybe I feel more comfortable in those in-between non-places. Those places are more or less non social. You can be there without making real contact to people. You’re there and you’re not there.
I see that fascination also in my work. Elderly people in their last years of their lives, it’s not very exiting but it fascinates me, the lonelyness and hidden lifes behind the curtains.
She also gave me the tip to look at the artist Vito Hannibal Acconci. He works with writing performances. I ordered his book Studio. Look forward to do some research to his work. Can be interesting for me. I have always been a writer. Sometimes I think that I’m more a writer than an artist. Writiing feels like is a second nature to me. I feel limited by the English language but in Dutch, my native language, writing feels like dreaming. It goes without saying.
WHERE IS MY WORK ABOUT?
After my chat with Dina this morning I want to ask myself the question: what is the red thread in my work? It’s good she pushes me to go back to the source. It seems that I have a preference for banal, boring daily activities (like walking the dog or fishing.......). Other keywords are: routine, lonelyness, overlooked........I want to show them in a different specific way. And why is that? Is that because I believe that life is a lonely path? You live together with others but in the the core we are all on ourselfes with our own concerns and problems. Finally you have to take the decisions yourself and you are responsible for your own life. Is it because as a child I always wanted to dive away? I was very shy and on myself. Maybe I want to overcome that by doing my performances and maybe I feel more comfortable in those in-between non-places. Those places are more or less non social. You can be there without making real contact to people. You’re there and you’re not there.
I see that fascination also in my work. Elderly people in their last years of their lives, it’s not very exiting but it fascinates me, the lonelyness and hidden lifes behind the curtains.
She also gave me the tip to look at the artist Vito Hannibal Acconci. He works with writing performances. I ordered his book Studio. Look forward to do some research to his work. Can be interesting for me. I have always been a writer. Sometimes I think that I’m more a writer than an artist. Writiing feels like is a second nature to me. I feel limited by the English language but in Dutch, my native language, writing feels like dreaming. It goes without saying.
April 21th 2020
FISHING IN AND AROUND DORDRECHT
Yesterday I find a nice article on the website of the archive in Dordrecht. It is called Vis (fish) and tells about the history of fishing in Dordrecht from the 14th century till the beginning of this century.
You can find the article
I specially like the part about angling. The pictures are really lovely. I show a few of them here below. (source reginaalarchiefdordrecht.nl )
FISHING IN AND AROUND DORDRECHT
Yesterday I find a nice article on the website of the archive in Dordrecht. It is called Vis (fish) and tells about the history of fishing in Dordrecht from the 14th century till the beginning of this century.
You can find the article
here
I specially like the part about angling. The pictures are really lovely. I show a few of them here below. (source reginaalarchiefdordrecht.nl )
April 20th 2020
LOOKING FOR A SPACE
For me the space to perform in is very important. Yesterday I strolled through the city the whole day to look for suitable places to do my performance. I discovered that I see this whole process as a kind of residency in my own studio with the city centre of Dordrecht as my working space. This thought works liberating for me. Not to focus on the graduation itself, but on this process. I give myself 6 weeks for this residency. There are a few conditions that the places where I want to work in must meet. For example the possibility to see me from the window or balcony, it should be a public space, a kind of in-between space, close to my studio, so in the city centre of Dordrecht. I find 12 places that could be suitible. I enjoyed it to walk through the city with this purpose. It brought me to places I had never been. I saw the city from a completely different perspective, which is interesting. I find the following spots. A lot of them seems to be a kind of courtyard.
LOOKING FOR A SPACE
For me the space to perform in is very important. Yesterday I strolled through the city the whole day to look for suitable places to do my performance. I discovered that I see this whole process as a kind of residency in my own studio with the city centre of Dordrecht as my working space. This thought works liberating for me. Not to focus on the graduation itself, but on this process. I give myself 6 weeks for this residency. There are a few conditions that the places where I want to work in must meet. For example the possibility to see me from the window or balcony, it should be a public space, a kind of in-between space, close to my studio, so in the city centre of Dordrecht. I find 12 places that could be suitible. I enjoyed it to walk through the city with this purpose. It brought me to places I had never been. I saw the city from a completely different perspective, which is interesting. I find the following spots. A lot of them seems to be a kind of courtyard.
For my performance ‘Fishing’ I have been looking for places on the water or on the waterfront. I always wanted to do a performance on the water. Water is the kind of ultimate in-between space. I grew up more or less on the water and being on the water is very familiar to me. An other advantage is that I can avoid the boa’s a littlebit......
I consider to do the same performance on several spots or on the same spot during a longer period, for example during two weeks, so that I become more or less part of the environment. If I have to trigger an audience it can be better to do it in one spot.
April 18th 2020
DERIVE
After the talk with Puck last thursday I decided to focus my research the coming period on how I can motivate my audience (in the public space) to make documentation of my work and possibly spread that. I noticed that it’s important to me to focus on the performance and not on document it myself.
Beside that I’m reading the book NON-PLACES from the French anthropologist Marc Auge. It’s about spaces like shopping malls, motorways, airportlounges, courious spaces which are both everywhere and nowhere. Can be interesting for me because I seem to have a prefenrence for these kind of spaces. Why is that.? I’m curious to learn more about that.
Tomorrow morning I’m going to stroll through the city to look for places where I can perform outside and at the same time the ‘audience’ can see me from there houses or balconies. The strolling through the city reminds me of the Derive concept of Guy Debord I wrote about in my thesis. For me one of the most intriging events in arthistory is ‘Excursion to Saint Julien-le-Pauvre’ , a meeting in a deserted, almost unknown church in totally uninteresting, positively doleful surroundings in Paris in the beginning of the previous century. It was an excursion through the city, to set right the incompetence of suspicious guides who lead a series of excursions and visits to places that have no reason to exist (source Artificial Hells Claire Bisshop).The interesting thing is that the whole excursion was a compleet failure and still the event is called in a lot of art history books. For me the message is: a complete failure on the short-term can be a big succes in the long-term. So don’t be afraid to fail.
DERIVE
After the talk with Puck last thursday I decided to focus my research the coming period on how I can motivate my audience (in the public space) to make documentation of my work and possibly spread that. I noticed that it’s important to me to focus on the performance and not on document it myself.
Beside that I’m reading the book NON-PLACES from the French anthropologist Marc Auge. It’s about spaces like shopping malls, motorways, airportlounges, courious spaces which are both everywhere and nowhere. Can be interesting for me because I seem to have a prefenrence for these kind of spaces. Why is that.? I’m curious to learn more about that.
Tomorrow morning I’m going to stroll through the city to look for places where I can perform outside and at the same time the ‘audience’ can see me from there houses or balconies. The strolling through the city reminds me of the Derive concept of Guy Debord I wrote about in my thesis. For me one of the most intriging events in arthistory is ‘Excursion to Saint Julien-le-Pauvre’ , a meeting in a deserted, almost unknown church in totally uninteresting, positively doleful surroundings in Paris in the beginning of the previous century. It was an excursion through the city, to set right the incompetence of suspicious guides who lead a series of excursions and visits to places that have no reason to exist (source Artificial Hells Claire Bisshop).The interesting thing is that the whole excursion was a compleet failure and still the event is called in a lot of art history books. For me the message is: a complete failure on the short-term can be a big succes in the long-term. So don’t be afraid to fail.
April 16th 2020
BACK TO THE OPEN AIR
This afternoon I had a nice chat with Puck Verkade, one of our guestteachers. She really encouraged me to go on with making art in the public space, like I did before the lockdown. I should not do the registration myself, but try to arrange the viewers to do this. For me performing is working in the moment, the work is the impact of the performance on the viewers and what they do with it. The registration is not part of the work. That’s a totally different proces, which disturbs the real work very much and takes away all my energy and joy.
Now the biggest shock has died down I have the feeling that the situation in the piublic space is a bit less stressful than a few weeks ago and I ‘m acting alone and can keep distance easily. It feels more okay to perform in the public space now. After 4 weeks of lock down I lost a lot of motivation to make art. I have tried other media, like photography and collage but that didn’t give me the spirit I need. On the other hand it made me more aware of the fact that I want to perform life in the moment, because that gives me the joy to make art. And when I loose the joy there is no reason for me to make art anymore.
BACK TO THE OPEN AIR
This afternoon I had a nice chat with Puck Verkade, one of our guestteachers. She really encouraged me to go on with making art in the public space, like I did before the lockdown. I should not do the registration myself, but try to arrange the viewers to do this. For me performing is working in the moment, the work is the impact of the performance on the viewers and what they do with it. The registration is not part of the work. That’s a totally different proces, which disturbs the real work very much and takes away all my energy and joy.
Now the biggest shock has died down I have the feeling that the situation in the piublic space is a bit less stressful than a few weeks ago and I ‘m acting alone and can keep distance easily. It feels more okay to perform in the public space now. After 4 weeks of lock down I lost a lot of motivation to make art. I have tried other media, like photography and collage but that didn’t give me the spirit I need. On the other hand it made me more aware of the fact that I want to perform life in the moment, because that gives me the joy to make art. And when I loose the joy there is no reason for me to make art anymore.
April 15th 2020
SOME PERSONAL THINGS
Today I feel the need to add some personal things to this process. I added a few pictures of items which are important to me today. Although I feel a great resistance to make art about the current situation. It’s also difficult to avoid it.
SOME PERSONAL THINGS
Today I feel the need to add some personal things to this process. I added a few pictures of items which are important to me today. Although I feel a great resistance to make art about the current situation. It’s also difficult to avoid it.
April 9th 2020
UNCERTAINTY
Gradually I get a littlebit used to this new normal of social distancing. Yesterday we had a nice presentation with the teachers and students of the part-time on microsoft teams. I also do realize more and more that I miss doing my performances and started completely against my principles to make a videoperformance. For me this is something really different from the real life performance. I miss working in the moment, the uncertainty of ajusting to the circumstances and the direct contact with audience. I also feel behind of the fulltime students who grown up with all these digital programs and I am from the letter and stamps era.
The titel of the performance is Fishing. The idea is to create an in-between world between reality (or what ever that will be nowadays) and fiction. Things that weren’t possible recently, seems to become normal very quickly. What was strange yesterday is normal today. You wake up in the morning and you think: is this the world where we are living in? Life has changed completely from one moment to the other.
During this crisis we are also doing things at home or in our garden we normally would do elswhere, like fishing.
Some stills from a video sketch:
UNCERTAINTY
Gradually I get a littlebit used to this new normal of social distancing. Yesterday we had a nice presentation with the teachers and students of the part-time on microsoft teams. I also do realize more and more that I miss doing my performances and started completely against my principles to make a videoperformance. For me this is something really different from the real life performance. I miss working in the moment, the uncertainty of ajusting to the circumstances and the direct contact with audience. I also feel behind of the fulltime students who grown up with all these digital programs and I am from the letter and stamps era.
The titel of the performance is Fishing. The idea is to create an in-between world between reality (or what ever that will be nowadays) and fiction. Things that weren’t possible recently, seems to become normal very quickly. What was strange yesterday is normal today. You wake up in the morning and you think: is this the world where we are living in? Life has changed completely from one moment to the other.
During this crisis we are also doing things at home or in our garden we normally would do elswhere, like fishing.
Some stills from a video sketch:
April 4th 2020
THE WHOLE
With the same photographic material I start to rearrange and make new combinations. We tend to devide the world into pieces to try to understand it better, but everything is connected. It’s a whole that we have no control over.
THE WHOLE
With the same photographic material I start to rearrange and make new combinations. We tend to devide the world into pieces to try to understand it better, but everything is connected. It’s a whole that we have no control over.
April 4th 2020
NOLENS VOLENS
This week I mainly worked on building my website. I felt the need to rearange my previous projects. There seems to be a ‘before’ and ‘after’ feeling. Beside an overwiew of the work of this year and some projects from the third year I want to make this website a place where you can follow my path to the graduation. Last weekend I went out with my camara before sunrise. It gives me a good feeling to be out this early in the morning with my bike packed with all kind of strange objects. I’m at the beginning of this process and hope to show more very soon. I went to my favourite tunnel in mij hometown. Afterwards it felt that me making the pictures and aranging the glass objects in the tunnel was more the work as a performance then the pictures itself.
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“ I see life as a corridor without a fixed starting point or destination. We tend to focus on the destination all the time, overlooking all the spaces in between."
Do Ho Sun
Do Ho Sun
This quote is very much related to my thesis about In-between spaces. In relation to my research for my thesis about inbetween spaces I did a small project in the Central Station of my hometown Dordrecht in january 2020.
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A possitive thing is that I found a studiospace in Dordrecht, where I can also work now. It is at Door, a ceative community for starting artists. Although there are no social activities now ,there will be after this is all over, I think this is a good start of my artpractice after the graduation.
April 3th 2020
LOCKDOWN
Today it’s 14 days ago that the school has closed. It feels like I suddenly lost a close friend. I really miss the creative environment, my fellow students, the inspiring building and the direct contact with the teachers. To be honest I think 99 % of the conditions I need to study at artschool are gone. My first reaction was “I definately do not want to graduate in this way”! I feel that we are victims of systems that has to go on, because we have to graduate to make place for the next students although it’s actually not possible now. I do also realize that there is no choice.
For me as a performer I lost my audience and the public space where I like to work in. It doesn’t feel good to do dusturbing actions in the public space in this time of crisis. Maybe I can perform in a digital space, but this doesn’t give me the energy that I need at the moment. During my performances I like to create a mental space that gives me and the audience the opportunity to enter a free and unkown world. I don’t know or I can create that in front of a video camara without an audience.
I decided to pick up my photocamara. In the second year I did a photography project during ‘Docking Staion’. I think it was one of the best processes I did during my study. My idea is to place alienating objects in the public space and photograph them. By doing that I want to create a space between reality and fiction. We live in a time when fiction seems more real than reality. To understand the world we tend to put everything in boxes and categorize all things. But that doesn’t brings us closer to reality. Everything is connected. It is one big whole, which we have no control over. By defening everything we think we know how it works. With my pictures I start a proces of rearanging, cutting, pasting, working in dummies and collage. Creating spaces into spaces. I have no idea yet what the outcome will be, but mayby the process will just be it.
LOCKDOWN
Today it’s 14 days ago that the school has closed. It feels like I suddenly lost a close friend. I really miss the creative environment, my fellow students, the inspiring building and the direct contact with the teachers. To be honest I think 99 % of the conditions I need to study at artschool are gone. My first reaction was “I definately do not want to graduate in this way”! I feel that we are victims of systems that has to go on, because we have to graduate to make place for the next students although it’s actually not possible now. I do also realize that there is no choice.
For me as a performer I lost my audience and the public space where I like to work in. It doesn’t feel good to do dusturbing actions in the public space in this time of crisis. Maybe I can perform in a digital space, but this doesn’t give me the energy that I need at the moment. During my performances I like to create a mental space that gives me and the audience the opportunity to enter a free and unkown world. I don’t know or I can create that in front of a video camara without an audience.
I decided to pick up my photocamara. In the second year I did a photography project during ‘Docking Staion’. I think it was one of the best processes I did during my study. My idea is to place alienating objects in the public space and photograph them. By doing that I want to create a space between reality and fiction. We live in a time when fiction seems more real than reality. To understand the world we tend to put everything in boxes and categorize all things. But that doesn’t brings us closer to reality. Everything is connected. It is one big whole, which we have no control over. By defening everything we think we know how it works. With my pictures I start a proces of rearanging, cutting, pasting, working in dummies and collage. Creating spaces into spaces. I have no idea yet what the outcome will be, but mayby the process will just be it.
Some collages with tape:
